If I could find a bottle large enough, I would gladly crawl inside. Glass black enough to block the sunlight from entering. Corked up and hidden from the outside world and its inhabitants.
Liquid medicine to fill the deep void within my chest. Soothing my aching heart and cleansing it of its loneliness. Washing out the dirt from the open wounds in its tender flesh.
However, I fear I know no relief can be found by filling yourself by artificial means. The loneliness growing constantly as it feeds upon the ingested alcohol. That alone feeling which you seek to end only intensifies.
July 26, 2005
July 24, 2005
Woman Of My Dreams
She is the woman who haunts me in my dreams. The loving apparition whose beautiful, brown eyes I cannot resist. A glance from them puts my mind to rest and makes my heart beat faster.
We dance together in playful merriment. There is no music to be heard, yet we still embrace each other to dance. I cannot tell if other people are in my dreams for my focus is on her and her alone.
She kisses my lips gently and runs her fingers through my hair. Our bodies warming each other with their close proximity. A sense of joy rushing through my dormant mind.
Time seems to slow down or stop completely when we are together. All good things must come to an end, but my mind tries in vain to prolong these dreams. It knows that with reality comes the sense of longing my heart so desperately tries to fulfill.
As my eyes open, they are greeted by the harshness of reality. The fair and radiant maiden is no longer in my presence. I see her almost everyday in reality, yet we lack the closeness and proximity my heart desires most.
The fact that I do not know her feelings towards me weighs most heavily on my mind. The time between when we part and meet again is spent deep in thought. My dreams provide some relief, yet they cannot possibly do her beauty any justice.
To get to know you better is all I ask. My heart and mind are rarely in agreement, yet they are both completely taken by you. Completely and utterly enthralled by your aura and accumen.
Place your mind aside for a moment and listen to your heart. If you can honestly say there are no feelings toward me, then tell me so now and put my mind to rest. Allow me to turn away my heart and feel this longing no longer.
However, if you do feel anything in the slightest, I shall wait until I might have the opportunity to nuture such feelings. To water them with my trust and loyalty so they may flourish and blossom. To woo you with my charm and wit so that you may know that gentlemen still do exist in a world filled with vultures. Even if that means having to wait until I do not see you everyday.
We dance together in playful merriment. There is no music to be heard, yet we still embrace each other to dance. I cannot tell if other people are in my dreams for my focus is on her and her alone.
She kisses my lips gently and runs her fingers through my hair. Our bodies warming each other with their close proximity. A sense of joy rushing through my dormant mind.
Time seems to slow down or stop completely when we are together. All good things must come to an end, but my mind tries in vain to prolong these dreams. It knows that with reality comes the sense of longing my heart so desperately tries to fulfill.
As my eyes open, they are greeted by the harshness of reality. The fair and radiant maiden is no longer in my presence. I see her almost everyday in reality, yet we lack the closeness and proximity my heart desires most.
The fact that I do not know her feelings towards me weighs most heavily on my mind. The time between when we part and meet again is spent deep in thought. My dreams provide some relief, yet they cannot possibly do her beauty any justice.
To get to know you better is all I ask. My heart and mind are rarely in agreement, yet they are both completely taken by you. Completely and utterly enthralled by your aura and accumen.
Place your mind aside for a moment and listen to your heart. If you can honestly say there are no feelings toward me, then tell me so now and put my mind to rest. Allow me to turn away my heart and feel this longing no longer.
However, if you do feel anything in the slightest, I shall wait until I might have the opportunity to nuture such feelings. To water them with my trust and loyalty so they may flourish and blossom. To woo you with my charm and wit so that you may know that gentlemen still do exist in a world filled with vultures. Even if that means having to wait until I do not see you everyday.
A Final Request
He thought that they would be the perfect match;
And considered her to be quite the catch;
Fitting all of the qualities he seeks in a girl;
Finally finding inside of a clam his pearl;
He thought he fit what she is seeking too;
And why not is all he wished he knew;
Her very own Prince Charming if she would only allow him;
Of a chivalrous nature who would cater to her every reasonable whim;
A man of intelligence and sense of self;
Who has many good qualities upon his shelf;
He would constantly take her to operas, museums, and movies;
Take her out to eat and afterwards for ice cream or smoothies;
Treating her every day with the upmost respect;
And trusting her without doubt in every aspect;
With her he might finally find companionship;
The stone off his heart she might finally chip;
Giving him cause to writes poems of an epic nature;
A burning desire to create for which there is no cure;
His heart making a final outcry to her;
Wanting inside only to know for sure;
Is is pointless for me to ask you out again?
Even if it's just as friends?
Tell me so I will at least know,
Whether that answer be yes or no,
and why exactly you feel so;
And considered her to be quite the catch;
Fitting all of the qualities he seeks in a girl;
Finally finding inside of a clam his pearl;
He thought he fit what she is seeking too;
And why not is all he wished he knew;
Her very own Prince Charming if she would only allow him;
Of a chivalrous nature who would cater to her every reasonable whim;
A man of intelligence and sense of self;
Who has many good qualities upon his shelf;
He would constantly take her to operas, museums, and movies;
Take her out to eat and afterwards for ice cream or smoothies;
Treating her every day with the upmost respect;
And trusting her without doubt in every aspect;
With her he might finally find companionship;
The stone off his heart she might finally chip;
Giving him cause to writes poems of an epic nature;
A burning desire to create for which there is no cure;
His heart making a final outcry to her;
Wanting inside only to know for sure;
Is is pointless for me to ask you out again?
Even if it's just as friends?
Tell me so I will at least know,
Whether that answer be yes or no,
and why exactly you feel so;
A Final Dream
I did not think I could dream any longer, yet I dreamed twice last night. An experience I have never experienced before. The dreams were wondrous and unlike any I have ever had previously.
In the first dream, we were both talking as if it were any other day. Much to your surprise, I caught you off-guard. I quickly leaned towards you and kissed your lips. I tried to withdraw, but you pulled me closer before I could. Your soft lips wrestling with mine as our bodies fought to get closer. My arms wrapped firmly yet gently around your tiny frame.
Then, it ended just as soon as the dream started; however, another dream began as I fell back asleep. This time we sat together amongst at a table amongst friends. They asked of you the nature of relationship. After a brief pause, you smiled and answered without missing a beat. You merely said I was your boyfriend and nothing more. Pulling me in close to you, you kissed me passionately on the lips.
The second dream was at its end now as well. I had to wake up and write it down. Dreams like these are not meant to be forgotten.
In the first dream, we were both talking as if it were any other day. Much to your surprise, I caught you off-guard. I quickly leaned towards you and kissed your lips. I tried to withdraw, but you pulled me closer before I could. Your soft lips wrestling with mine as our bodies fought to get closer. My arms wrapped firmly yet gently around your tiny frame.
Then, it ended just as soon as the dream started; however, another dream began as I fell back asleep. This time we sat together amongst at a table amongst friends. They asked of you the nature of relationship. After a brief pause, you smiled and answered without missing a beat. You merely said I was your boyfriend and nothing more. Pulling me in close to you, you kissed me passionately on the lips.
The second dream was at its end now as well. I had to wake up and write it down. Dreams like these are not meant to be forgotten.
July 22, 2005
Speak To Me
If there is no hope, tell me so,
And deliver upon my heart the fatal blow;
To all the good feelings put an end,
So that my broken heart may start to mend;
Or if thou willst, pronounceth thee
Feelings that thou hav'th of me;
If thou dost think my words untrue,
That from the inked page doth spew;
Only allow me to prove what I say,
From now until my dying day;
Dying without knowing what could have been,
Would prove to be the most mortal sin;
If I die tomorrow, I would have one regret,
That I had not gotten to know you better yet;
I ask of you only that you wait and see,
Before deciding upon the fate of you and me;
Until the proper time shall I patiently wait,
Finding some contentment in our current state;
I only hope my wait does not await an ill-fate,
But the greatest things in life are worth the wait;
And deliver upon my heart the fatal blow;
To all the good feelings put an end,
So that my broken heart may start to mend;
Or if thou willst, pronounceth thee
Feelings that thou hav'th of me;
If thou dost think my words untrue,
That from the inked page doth spew;
Only allow me to prove what I say,
From now until my dying day;
Dying without knowing what could have been,
Would prove to be the most mortal sin;
If I die tomorrow, I would have one regret,
That I had not gotten to know you better yet;
I ask of you only that you wait and see,
Before deciding upon the fate of you and me;
Until the proper time shall I patiently wait,
Finding some contentment in our current state;
I only hope my wait does not await an ill-fate,
But the greatest things in life are worth the wait;
July 16, 2005
Poisonous
His eyes finally opened up to the outside world. He bends down beside a favorite flower of his. The gorgeous white petals beckoning him to come closer.
He breathes in deeply of the flower's aroma. Unable to fool himself any longer, the poisonous flower's stench is foul and almost unbearable. The scent invades his nostrils and takes ahold of his sense of smell.
His eyes well up and the tears roll down his cheeks. The whole experience is truly disheartening. It weighs heavily upon his chest and mind.
The unhappiness is short-lived, because he knows there are plenty of other flowers out there. Some with even prettier petals and sweeter smells though shortly ago he would not have thought it possible.
The foolish man rises to his feet and continues along as normal. He walks confidently knowing that he has learned his lesson from the experience. The man had walked into the situation a fool, but he walked away much wiser.
He breathes in deeply of the flower's aroma. Unable to fool himself any longer, the poisonous flower's stench is foul and almost unbearable. The scent invades his nostrils and takes ahold of his sense of smell.
His eyes well up and the tears roll down his cheeks. The whole experience is truly disheartening. It weighs heavily upon his chest and mind.
The unhappiness is short-lived, because he knows there are plenty of other flowers out there. Some with even prettier petals and sweeter smells though shortly ago he would not have thought it possible.
The foolish man rises to his feet and continues along as normal. He walks confidently knowing that he has learned his lesson from the experience. The man had walked into the situation a fool, but he walked away much wiser.
July 15, 2005
Eternal
True love is eternal and everlasting. Its greatness cannot be contained by any mere boundaries. Such a thing as love becomes evident in all your actions and everything you do. It is impossible to hide or mask from the world.
The object of your affection takes precedence in your mind. You think of its well-being and wonder what it's doing. Their feelings become your own and you gladly share these with that individual.
Every breath you inhale and beat of your heart becomes dedicated to that which you love. Their happiness and comfort is that which you consider first and foremost. Needing nothing in return for your actions except that feeling of reciprocal love which fills your heart.
The object of your affection takes precedence in your mind. You think of its well-being and wonder what it's doing. Their feelings become your own and you gladly share these with that individual.
Every breath you inhale and beat of your heart becomes dedicated to that which you love. Their happiness and comfort is that which you consider first and foremost. Needing nothing in return for your actions except that feeling of reciprocal love which fills your heart.
July 11, 2005
More News
His expectations have proved themselves to be true. Though he has expected it, the news initially shock him slightly. The thought of not seeing her everyday depresses him momentarily.
The depression is short lived as he rejoices in her newfound excitement. He only wants her to be happy whatever that might entail. She has his support and encouragement no matter what she decides.
He will be there for her as long as she'll have him. To listen intently to her and give her his time. She has his loyalty and trust which he gives to her expecting nothing in return.
The depression is short lived as he rejoices in her newfound excitement. He only wants her to be happy whatever that might entail. She has his support and encouragement no matter what she decides.
He will be there for her as long as she'll have him. To listen intently to her and give her his time. She has his loyalty and trust which he gives to her expecting nothing in return.
July 1, 2005
Treasure
A treasure encased in stone long ago waiting to be discovered. Rubble piled on top to conceal it from others. He thought it would never be uncovered and freed from its rocky prison.
This changed when a certain person came along. The rocks and rubble chiseled away with kind words and brushed away with coy glances. Freed from its prison, the treasure lies there for her to take.
The day has come to finally offer her the treasure. To let her claim what is hers to take. He knows it would be in good hands and trusts in her judgment.
If she declines for some reason, he will leave it uncovered just in case. The misfortune will be almost unbearable, but he cannot blame her. He will just continue looking for someone worthy of such a treasure.
This changed when a certain person came along. The rocks and rubble chiseled away with kind words and brushed away with coy glances. Freed from its prison, the treasure lies there for her to take.
The day has come to finally offer her the treasure. To let her claim what is hers to take. He knows it would be in good hands and trusts in her judgment.
If she declines for some reason, he will leave it uncovered just in case. The misfortune will be almost unbearable, but he cannot blame her. He will just continue looking for someone worthy of such a treasure.
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